


Let it be

by kiminspirit



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abortion, Aftercare, Birth Control, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Verse, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 14:29:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiminspirit/pseuds/kiminspirit
Summary: In which Changkyun decides to go under a permanent birth control surgery.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	Let it be

**Author's Note:**

> So, as you can read at the tags, this fic talks about a past abortion and permanent birth control surgery so if you are not pro-choice I suggest not to read this.  
> There is always fanfiction about omegas getting pregnant and accepting it because yeah why not, that seems to be their -job- and honestly I was getting tired of it, not that there aren't some very good fics but anyway. So, I thought 'What's wrong with being an omega and not wanting to have pups? It's just the same as being a woman and not wanting to have children' so there's that. This is what came out of my random thoughts.  
> Also, tags make this thing look darker than it is. It's just pure fluff -I think-.  
> P.D 1 I suck at smut. I'm so sorry you all have to read this mess haha  
> P.D 2 This is not beta-ed nor proofread  
> P.D 3 Ugh there was a mistake close to the end but I already corrected it.

Being an omega means that everyone has expectations of you. An omega should know how to behave. An omega must be docile and do what their alpha ask them to. And above it all, an omega is expected to conceive their alpha’s pups.

Bullshit _._

_Fuck them all._

That's what Changkyun thinks as he swallows the pill once again in the span of three months. Why does his heats have to be so damn often? Why can’t he be like Hyungwon whose heats come like twice a year? It has brought him problems in the past, but he knows better than to blame himself for that. He knows it is not his fault, it’s just how his body works. It doesn’t make it any easier.

Sure, he has Hyunwoo now, loving and gentle Hyunwoo, to take care of him, but Changkyun can’t help feeling uncomfortable every time he has to take the phone and snatch him out of his training just because his stupid body needs a cock up his ass. A very good cock by the way but that´s _not_ the point.

He’s so goddamn tired of it.

Placing the glass of water in the sink he returns to their bedroom and gets immediately inside the covers cuddling against the big, comfy frame that is his soon-to-be husband. Hyunwoo welcomes him into his arms like he missed him, like they hadn’t just fucked ten minutes ago and once last night. Sex is great though, Changkyun’s not complaining about that, but is even better when he is not in heat, when he’s not feeling like burning from the inside, when he’s in complete control of his body and what he really wants. That’s not the case now.

He has just come out of his heat and feeling extra cuddly. He is so freaking glad he has Hyunwoo by his side. It wasn’t like this before, way before when he was with someone else. Lonely mornings and cold nights, no arms to keep him warm. No sweet words whispered by his ears to lull him into sleep after a long, tiring heat. A strong, disregarding voice yelling at him to stop being _so fucking annoying_ when he asked for one, just one hug. He still gets nightmares from time to time. He doesn’t what to think about it because every time he does, he wants to punch something. Preferably that asshole’s face.

Anyhow there are more important things than that man. One thing, in particular, that Changkyun’s been meaning to talk with Hyunwoo about. He’s been thinking about it for some time now, and this is probably the best moment to place the subject.

“Hyung” he calls him in a small, tired voice. The younger can feel Hyunwoo’s fingers dancing between the strands of is hair. They’re gentle and Changkyun almost relaxes completely but not quite. The taller man answers with a simple _“mnh?”_ and Changkyun knows he’s drifting off to sleep even though they had woken up not even an hour ago.

He’s tempted to let him, it’s Sunday after all, none of them have anything to do, but this is important for Changkyun, he can’t waste more time.

“I’m going to get the surgery”

Changkyun lifts his eyes looking for any display of emotion in Hyunwoo’s face. He sees him opening his sleepy eyes and his heart flutters. He’s sure Hyunwoo is aware of what he’s talking about.

“Are you sure?” Changkyun tries to hold his gaze in place but ends up looking away. He doesn’t know why though, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and apparently Hyunwoo thinks the same, “Hey, look at me,” he says lifting Changkyun’s face with a single finger to meet his eyes “is that what you want?”

“Yes, it is”

“Go ahead then”

Changkyun blinks once. Twice. And then speaks.

“Just like that? Aren’t you going to say something?” he asks quite puzzled. He doesn’t know what he was expecting but that was far easier than he thought.

“What do you want me to say, love?”

“I-“ yes, what does he want him to say? Perhaps deep inside he expected a negative reaction, much like the ones his ex used to have. But why? Hyungwoo would never treat him like that. That’s nothing more than irrational fear. Hyunwoo is a fucking angel. “I don´t know”.

“Look,” he says as he takes a sitting position in the bed so Changkyun’ ends up trapped between his muscled chest and big arms “I know all the shit you went through and I would never judge you for you decisions, baby. If anything, I think you’re really brave and I’m proud of you.” Hyunwoo kisses the crown of his head and Changkyun melts in his touch.

“Also,” he continues “if my opinion counts for anything, I’d say you did the right thing back then, I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that before”

“You haven’t but thank you. Not many people think the same.” He adds and it’s true. He has never once regretted the path he chose even when lots and lots of people tried to make him feel guilty. None of them knew what he was going through.

“They’re all idiots who think they have the right to choose over someone’s lives. This is your choice too, not mine. You want to have pups? Alright. You don´t want to have pups? That’s alright too. You want to get the surgery? So, get it, I’ll be there with you all the way” he finishes placing a loud kiss in his cheek. Oh, Changkyun really got the jackpot when he met this wonderful man.

Freeing himself from his honestly very comfortable cage Changkyun straddles Hyunwoo’s hips leaving small kisses all along his handsome face, the taller scrunches his nose but lets him. They’re still very much naked so Changkyun can feel Hyunwoo’s flaccid member poking him from behind but he is still tired from his heat and his fiancé knows better than to try and go for another round. It’s ok though. He likes it. He likes feeling Hyunwoo‘s bare warmth, skin against skin, smell his scent (he smells like the ocean and a little bit of dark chocolate but that was probably Changkyun’s doing), just being in his arms makes everything look better.

“You, sir, are a wise man.”

“I’m just a man with common sense, that´s all.”

“That too” they smile and hold onto each other some more. Changkyun rests his chin on Hyunwoo’s right shoulder. It’s nice, so he can’t stop himself from speaking his mind “Do you ever wonder what would it be like if I had kept it? The baby?” after three years of their beautiful relationship he finally asks the question.

Hyunwoo had known everything there was to know about Changkyun before they started dating, the younger made sure of it. He knew about the abusive relationship the younger was trapped into for two years, he knew that Changkyun used to take dangerous amounts of suppressants after leaving that awful man in fear that another alpha would notice him and tried to claim him. He knew that Changkyun was afraid of almost everything and everyone except his friends Kihyun, Hyungwon and Jooheon. He knew about his strong will of not having pups. And he knew about the abortion he had to get and how that was the inflexion point in his previous relationship, he had escaped after that.

He knew and accepted him, nonetheless.

Almost five years have passed since he made probably the most important decision of his life and has never once regretted it, although it was an experience he hopes he never has to go through again. It hadn’t been easy nor cheap. There were very few places that may agree to the procedure in Gwangju and none of them seemed safe at the time nor reliable. Everyone in that fucked up society believed that an omega’s biggest achievement was carrying their alpha’s pups, therefore wanting to get rid of one was almost a sacrilege, a terrible, unforgivable sin. Who knows what could have happened to him if some inhuman, moral freak doctor decided upon his “punishment”?

Call him a paranoid but he was just a nineteen-year-old pregnant omega alone in a questionable abortion clinic. He was smarter than people gave him credit for.

He had quietly traveled to Seoul with Hyungwon’s help who already lived over there at the dorms in his university and offered to take him in for a few days. A backpack with a couple of worn out clothes, his phone charger, his remaining suppressants and all his money savings were everything he had.

When Jooheon and Kihyun, who were also students and part-time workers, first knew of his pregnancy and his plans for an abortion didn’t doubt for a minute and went almost feral looking for safe clinics as fast as possible. Kihyun had been seconds away from taking a bus to Gwangju to snatch that fucker’s head off, Hyungwon had encouraged him saying he could help making it look like an accident. They knew beforehand that his relationship with Dongwan wasn’t going exactly well but finding out that bastard had thrown away all his contraceptive pills, locked him up inside their house for two full weeks and taken his phone to prevent him from calling someone, had just activated some sort of killing mode inside them. The three of them strictly forbid him from going back, not that Changkyun were planning of doing it anyway.

He had had enough.

Hyunwoo’s soft voice drags him back to the present, “I don’t but I guess we wouldn’t have met.”

Come to think of it that was probably true. If he hadn’t had aborted, he wouldn’t have left Dongwan’s side, wouldn’t have end up in that therapy group for abused omegas, wouldn’t have made friends with Minhyuk, wouldn’t have accepted to go for a bubble tea with him and accidentally spill said drink all over Hyunwoo’s white button up shirt. Wouldn’t have apologized one hundred times and offered to wash that shirt himself, terrified wide open eyes staring at him because _oh my god I just fucked this bigass alpha’s outfit up. He’s gonna kill me_. Hyunwoo wouldn’t have kindly brought him another drink saying it was his own fault for not seeing where he was walking. The rest is history.

“You’re right. But what if…”

“Changkyun. Don’t. There’s no point in thinking of _what ifs._ You have the ‘ _now’._ But if it makes you feel better, I would have loved you the same.”

“I love you so fucking much, I hope you know that, hyung.”

“I know, Kyun. I love you too.” He says rubbing his hand up and down Changkyun’s back. He feels it then, something poking a little bit more at his bare butt.

“Really, hyung?” he says, a bit of fun in his voice.

Hyunwoo chuckles.

“What do you think of another round?”

“I’m tired and sore, I don-“

“Ah… not you” he corrects himself, blushing a beautiful shade of pink. Shy Hyunwoo is the best Hyunwoo, “only fingers are okay for me if you’re up for it”

And this, in Changkyun’s opinion, is one of the best things in his relationship with Hyunwoo. The older doesn’t expect him to behave as society says an omega _should_ behave, and he won’t stick to alpha roles either. They’re both free souls who found each other and complement perfectly.

They’ve done this before, countless times. Changkyun loves it. He doesn´t _have_ to be on the receiving end every time they have sex and making Hyunwoo feel good is what he loves the most along with waking up with him by his side. His fiancé is shy and awkward most of the time when facing strange situations, so it took Changkyun a while to discover this side of him. The side that wanted to be taken care of. The side that needed to feel protected and let go of all that alpha energy. The side that desperately wished to get wrecked and fucked senseless but also be loved and understood without judgment.

And did Changkyun said shy Hyunwoo is the best? Well, moaning, sweating Hyunwoo while being fingered open is a sight to see. Changkyun absolutely adores having Hyunwoo under him, panting and asking for more, but above it all he loves and treasures all the trust Hyunwoo lays in his hands for this. He is glad that Hyunwoo, this big, intimidating as fuck, handsome _alpha_ feels comfortable enough around him to let him take care of him like this. He is just really happy to have this wonderful alpha, this amazing man loving him.

At the end, when Hyunwoo comes all over his stomach and Changkyun’s hand, four fingers still inside, gasping for air and hands gripping at the pillows, the omega takes his time saving that image in his mind. He kisses his parted lips and cleans him with the same cloth they used the past two rounds.

They lay there. Breathing, kissing, being themselves until it’s time for breakfast and Changkyun suggest a bath. And so, the day begins.

X

This is fucking ridiculous.

Changkyun angrily stomps out of the third clinic that day feeling extremely frustrated. He wants to call Hyunwoo and vent out all his complaints, but he won’t. Hyunwoo is currently training for a very important competition overseas that could grant him a pass to the World Swimming Championship and can’t be bothered so he calls Kihyun instead.

_“Hey, Kyunnie”_

“Hi, hyung. How are you doing?”

_“I’m fine, baby, how are you? How’s your search going?”_

“Not as good as I’d want” he answers letting out a long sigh, “this is the third clinic I ask for information and apparently in two of them I need to be mated and get the consent from my alpha or having already one pup. The first one straight up refused the procedure because ‘ _an omega must bear their alpha’s pups’”_

_“The fuck”_

“Yes. Exactly.” He agrees dropping on a bench outside the building. “I’m so disgusted. All the ladies and nurses looked at me like a had grown a third eye or something.”

_“Don’t worry too much, Kyun. There must be at least one place…”_

“I know, hyung. It’s just… I want to get it done as soon as possible, preferably before the wedding.” He finishes with a long sigh.

_“Hey don´t stress yourself. Everything is gonna be alright. I’ll help you, ok? I’m sending you some addresses, check them out but if you don’t find anything go back home and I’ll go with you tomorrow morning, is that alright?_

“You don’t have to…”

_“But I want to. I want to help my little baby”_

“Hyung! I’m not a baby.”

_“You are to me. Now stop whining and go back to work. And you better eat something or else…”_

“Yes yes yes, mom. I know.”

_“This little brat.”_

Changkyun chuckles but secretly loves the attention his hyungs give him, all of them.

He ends up visiting another two places getting the same results. A big _NO_ and some ugly stares. Until finally luck starts to smile at him. He gets like two strangers staring daggers at him, so he stares back, his gaze saying _“mind your own business”_ but otherwise he’s pretty sure this is the place. Nurses actually treat him like the person he is, not denying him information.

Soon enough he’s talking with his doctor, a tall, soft faced woman who surprisingly, after asking a couple of routine questions such as “have you being pregnant before?” and Changkyun answering that “yes, I have but I aborted it” doesn’t judge him. She doesn’t ask why. She doesn’t refuse the procedure. He feels an invisible weight getting off his shoulders, his stomach relaxing and his hands not trembling anymore. After having placed an appointment two weeks later for the actual surgery, Changkyun leaves with that incredible sense of having won something.

He sends a message to his friend’s group chat but doesn’t tell Hyunwoo just yet. He waits so he can tell him in person when they’re both at home, eating takeout food, cuddled in the living room watching a shitty action movie in Netflix, and hopefully a full session of steamy sex on the couch would follow.

That´s exactly how it goes.

Netflix forgotten, asking them through the screen if they were still watching, the couple finishes up with two long, fucked out moans, Changkyun on his stomach, Hyunwoo inside the condom, knot still fully swollen. The alpha waits there for a few minutes until he’s able to pull out without hurting the younger. He throws the used condom in a trash can in the bathroom and comes back immediately to the couch, a wet cloth in hand to whip off his omega’s torso. After cleaning up their mess, Hyunwoo holds him, gently kissing his forehead. He knows how much his fiancé loves aftercare.

Changkyun remembers the first time Hyunwoo ever helped him during a heat. They had already been dating but Changkyun was still scared shitless. It hadn’t been long since withdrawing the suppressants from his body, so his heat came all at once hitting him full force. He was alone in the apartment he shared with Hyungwon; his friend had been working endlessly on a choreography for an upcoming musical.

Hyunwoo already knew about his withdrawal, he had encouraged him to stop with the suppressants, and told him he was a call away if needed. It’s not that Changkyun didn’t trust him, no. He was dating him for a reason. Hyunwoo had proved to be a decent human being, a respectful alpha and a caring boyfriend. But then again, Dongwan had been all that, and hurt him at the end.

He was overthinking it; he knew it. He did need an alpha after all, his own fingers wouldn’t be enough, and no dildo could satisfy him now. He had to trust Hyunwoo with this, so he called him.

Not even ten minutes after the call Hyunwoo was at his door, a worried expression covering his usually resting face. He had seen the absolute despair in Changkyun’s whole behaviour and didn’t hesitate to take him into his arms, whispering sweet words, telling him _everything is gonna be alright, baby. I’m gonna take care of you._

And Changkyun believed it. Believed every word.

It was true. All of it was true. And it was beautiful, gentle and comfortable, as much as it could be anyway.

At the end, there was only one thing he was a little bit afraid of, and that was Hyunwoo leaving. So he had actually cried when the alpha dropped down by his side on the bed holding him close to his chest, caressing his arms, moving strands of dark brown hair away from his forehead and kissing him there.

He had shed incontrollable tears asking him why he wasn’t leaving, he had to follow a schedule at the training pool, his coach would be upset if he didn´t show up in time, “How could I?” the alpha had said, “What kind of boyfriend would that make me? Training can wait a couple more hours” and proceeded to snuggle Changkyun even closer to his chest sensing his need for affection.

However, a couple of hours weren’t enough, Hyunwoo had to call in sick because Changkyun’s heat hadn’t stopped then. His coach got so furious he almost drowned Hyunwoo the next day, he didn’t care, though. He made sure to always stay by his side, watch him until he fell asleep in his arms. He still does.

“Hyunwoo” he starts when he’s gained air in his lungs again, breaking the silence around them, not bothering with honorifics, “I didn’t ask you before, sorry about that but, what will happen when you decide you want a real, full family?”

“You mean pups?” Changkyun nods. “Adoption is a thing, you know?” he smiles and Changkyun smiles back squeezing the man closer to his own body, “There are a lot of kids in the world waiting for a family. But don’t worry about that right now, we still have time to think and decide what _we_ want.”

Really, could Changkyun love this man more than he already does?

Apparently yes, he can.

XX

Surgery was a success, as expected.

Changkyun was discharged from the clinic four hours after he woke up from the anesthesia. He was now, quite literally, a new man and that felt really good. He wondered why he hadn’t done it before, right after the whole Dongwan fiasco.

Lying by his side in their bed, Hyunwoo drew small circles on his back, he had taken a free day from training in the pool just for him, so he could take care of his fiancé properly even though it was a minor procedure. Jooheon had offered to keep Changkyun company and the omega had agreed so Hyunwoo could focus on swimming only, but he had refused, and Changkyun was secretly glad he did.

The alpha had spoiled him with lots of hot cocoa, warm soup and many, many kisses. Although he knew none of that was necessary Changkyun was _not_ going to complain. Two months in, the surgery proved effective. No pregnancy symptoms and no heats in sight. Their sex life remained as active as ever, nothing really changed except the fact Changkyun didn’t need contraceptive pills anymore, he sometimes used to forget that fact and rushed out of habit to the kitchen for a glass of water only to be reminded by Hyunwoo that he didn’t need them at all. Also, the savings in condoms was a plus.

Another perk of not having heats anymore was how easy going to work became.

He was a music producer and composer in the company Hoseok owned, Hyungwon’s boyfriend. The alpha had hired him despite his subgender when most people wouldn’t want an omega among their crew because of the risks that’d convey. But Hoseok was the softest alpha he had met, besides Hyunwoo, and had said that it didn’t matter he was an omega, he was incredibly good at making music, and _I’m not going to let you waste that talent, puppy._

So, without the risks of an unexpected heat halfway into a meeting and having to constantly reject some stubborn alphas because - _No, I’m not mated. Yes, I’m dating someone. Fuck off-_ everything turned easier. He was the most confident he had ever been around other people. He was honestly proud of himself.

Now, four months later, waking up in a hotel room in Jeju, trapped between his husband’s - _his husband! –_ arms he still has to remind himself that he no longer needs the pills so instead of running out of bed he snuggles closer to Hyunwoo. This is their first morning as a married _and_ mated couple and so Changkyun is absolutely elated. Years ago, he’d had never thought he would come this far, not with Dongwan, not with Hyunwoo, not with anyone. Fate really did play a good one with his life after all the shit he endured.

“How are you feeling?” Hyunwoo asks. Changkyun had been so absorbed in his thoughts he didn’t realize the alpha was awake. His sleepy eyes, barely open, are the prettiest thing the younger has had the pleasure of seeing.

“Me? How are _you_ feeling, sir?” he says back, a mocking smirk in his lips, “I was getting worried you’d run out of stamina for the rest of the trip by the third round.” Hyunwoo chuckles retrieving his arms from the omega’s body, lying flat on his back.

“You know, being an omega without heats doesn’t make you any less horny.”

“Can you complain?”

“Not really, no. Also, I wasn’t running out of stamina, I’m a high-performance athlete, I could have easily gone for a fourth round.” He says, an innocent smile lightening his face.

“Oh yeah?” the younger man asks, raising a pierced eyebrow, a raspy, challenging tone “Ok, high-performance athlete, prove it.”

“That’s what I’m talking about. Horny.” Hyunwoo says as Changkyun straddles his legs, pinning both of his hands to each side of his head.

Changkyun leans down to kiss his alpha’s beautiful lips, forcing his long tongue as far as it could go down Hyunwoo’s throat, trailing along the warm cavity. Hyunwoo sucks on his pink, wet tongue, and soon he can feel the younger’s semi-hard on against his stomach. He’s sure Changkyun can feel him too, getting harder between his legs. Their strong scents flooding around the room, the smell of dark chocolate entering Hyunwoo’s nostrils. That’s another thing the surgery didn’t change, it didn’t mess up with his scent glands at all, thank God. Hyunwoo would have gone mad if he couldn’t smell Changkyun’s sweet scent again.

Minutes later, foreplay forgotten, Changkyun’s resting on his side, crying out Hyunwoo’s name, asking for more while his husband fucks him into oblivion like he hadn’t done it three times last night. The alpha between his thighs holds his leg up over his shoulder while thrusting fast and steady, reveling on Changkyun’s every sweet expression while the younger puts on a show just for him, not even trying to hold his moans down.

“Y-yes. Ah! Fuck, Hyunwoo.” He groans throwing his head onto the pillows, gripping the bed sheets. Hair sticking to his sweaty skin, heavy breathing, eyes tightly closed, mouth open drooling a bit over the bed, “I- I wanna t-touch myself. Can I?”

“No.” he says, Changkyun makes a strangled, frustrated noise in his throat, then Hyunwoo adds: “I’ll do it for you, babe.” and grabs his hard dick immediately. Changkyun almost chokes on the feeling. Hyunwoo’s big, warm hand moves up and down his length, sometimes cupping and squeezing his balls a little and then going back to the reddened head, leaking with precum.

Having such a thick, hard cock pounding inside him just as he likes it, Changkyun won’t last much longer and Hyunwoo knows it too. He sees it in the way Changkyun’s legs start to tremble, in the way he squirms and pushes back trying to meet his thrust. In the way the sounds he makes turn louder and heavier.

“I’m… I’m go-“

“Do it, baby.” but Changkyun desperately shakes his head.

“K-knot. I want your knot” he mutters a little breathless. “Knot me”

And a knot he gets. He can feel the moment his alpha starts growing inside him, stretching his walls painfully nice apart. And he comes right then, mouth wide open, nails buried in Hyunwoo’s left thigh. The older spills inside his beautiful omega with a low, raspy groan, his gorgeous features while he comes are Hyunwoo’s favorite image. If it wasn’t so erotic, he would even tattoo that expression on his skin.

As good as it is staying side by side on that bed after riding out their orgasms, cleaning up and taking a shower together, they did pay a lot of money for that hotel so they may as well take advantage of that huge pool and buffet.

Also, Kihyun had made that delicious cake so they had to make it to the hotel restaurant, where the leftovers had been stored last night, before the rest of their friends did it first and stole the whole thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> English is not my first language so if there's any mistakes please let me know.  
> Also follow me on Twitter @KimPinedo


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